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Many single women (and some men) decide on New Year’s Day that this is the year to find “the one.” While I love the intention (because I talk to many women who have given up on having the love life of their dreams and that’s no fun) there’s one red flag with this New Year’s resolution.
While there are many things you can do to make yourself more open to love (stay tuned for videos all year long to give you ideas), the Universe still decides when you’re ready and the Universe might have a longer term plan for you than just this year. Love, especially attracting and keeping “the one” is no easy job! It requires patience, courage, and practice. Lots. That can take time.
So, what happens if by November 2013 you haven’t met someone you want to spend your life with? Then you’ll feel like you failed your resolution and that feeling of failure and disappointment can add another crusty layer on top of your already very vulnerable heart. You don’t need any more layers when you’re single. It’s like wearing spanx – you think it’s helping and protecting you but it’s really not because the tight layer feels unnatural.
Now, chances are that some of you will conveniently forget your resolution once a few months of awkward dates goes by. But let’s say this post is written to the women that are determined to make their love life goal a reality this year. This is written for you. You are done forgetting, back pedaling, and stalling. This is the year you want to see your love life transform. So instead of picking a resolution that may end in extra crusty layers on your heart (eek!), let’s focus your energy in a direction that is sure not to disappoint.
This resolution that I want to share with you will not only bring in the man of your dreams but it will also transform how you treat all people, including the most important person in your life… YOU. The way you treat yourself, the way you spend your time, and the way you view yourself must improve for your love life to improve. This is crucial.
At the end of the year, there is no chance you’ll be disappointed if you put this resolution into practice.
Did I say practice? Yes, yes I did. That’s the catch. If you’re like me, you have great intentions and you’re feeling positive and thinking clearly in this moment. You are thinking yes! I can do this! That’s a great feeling so by all means, soak up the excitement. However, enthusiasm wanes. You have to develop daily (or weekly) practices to anchor this desire of yours into your life. Start these daily practices now while you’re in a good hopeful mood so that the days when you don’t feel like it, you have a better chance of practicing your resolution anyway.
I like a combination of reminders and actions.
An iPhone alarm is a great way to remind yourself. Make an alarm that goes off every afternoon when you hit that slump that says “How can I be more loving in this moment?” Another tool is to create a LOVING JOURNAL. Get a little journal and write in it when you wake up or before you fall asleep. Write at least 1 action you took that day to be more loving. Write more if you have more examples. The things you write could be big (told him you loved him when you didn’t know if he’d say it back) or small (smiled at the pimply barista). It doesn’t matter. Don’t judge yourself, just write the actions down. Any way that you were more loving today and don’t forget about the examples of ways you were more loving to yourself!
Thank you to all the amazing people in my life that have been loving to me and have let me be more loving to them and thank you for reading and not wanting to give up on your love life. A sensational and satisfying love life is completely possible, it just requires a little work.
While most single women dread the holiday season -arriving at a slew of parties solo, avoiding Aunt Betty’s never ending questions about marital status, and spending more time eating a chocolate snow man than cuddling a real man on the couch, I think the holidays can be a prime opportunity for meeting a great guy – as long as you have the right tools and attitude. If you don’t, it’s just more draining cocktail parties and fruitcakes.
Every single woman needs to know these top 5 ways to attract a sexy man this month, just in time for a delightful new year’s eve kiss.
There is nothing more unattractive than being scanned for baby-making potential right out of the gate. Desperate and critical ain’t too pretty.
Leave invites from negative nancies, competitive cathies, and judgemental judies in your inbox. No parties? Find an event that will make you giggle. Take a friend that isn’t in either of those 3 categories.
Unleash a little of your naughty side this season. You’re not getting hired to be on the PTA, you’re getting browsed by men that want a love life. And if you don’t have an online profile, get one. Then you’ll have no excuse to not have a date next week!
Do what you love right before you go to the party so you feel great about yourself: dance around your room naked, light your favorite candle and meditate, do an unexpected good deed, take a bubble bath (but skip the emo music, maybe Mariah Carey’s holiday album would be best). Show up to every party at your best. There is no better way to meet a great guy that through your friends. 63% of married couples say they met their mate through a friend.
It’s not desperate, it’s called being proactive. Don’t believe the movies or what your friends tell you. You want love, go out and make it happen. Besides, have you ever heard of a guy that said “she asked ME out so that was a red flag she wasn’t the right woman for me?” No way.
Now you have your top 5 tools for a love life experiment this holiday season. I hope this brings you some joy and merriment and I wish you all lots of luck and love, love, love.
P.S. I want to hear about your experiment so let me know what happens out there in the comments!
Especially to yourself. And the little 3 year old inside of you that was told sex is bad, or the 7 year old inside of you they called chubby. Be nice to all the scared parts of you and then be nice to the men that you meet. In fact, be nicer to everyone you meet. Kindness attracts kindness. Love attracts love.
Even if he didn’t pay for dinner or wore weird shoes. He spent an hour listening to you. Say thank you. If you don’t have a date lined up, see #3.
Anybody who makes your body tingle. Maybe he’s hot or maybe he seems disgusting yet intriguing. If there is heat in your body, ask him. The internet gives you absolutely no excuse out of this one.
Sweaty armpits? Babbling? Back pain? Hiding under the covers syndrome? Notice when you’re uncomfortable and memorize the signals. That way, when he doesn’t call you back and you’re hiding under the covers you can say to yourself “Oh! I’m uncomfortable. This sucks” instead of “He is not worth my time anyway. F**k him!” which will only make you feel better for a minute and then you’ll still be single and searching.
Scream in public. Post a naughty short story anonymously. Ask the awkward guy to dance. Then when the stakes are high and you really like him and you’re really uncomfortable because you don’t know what the heck is going on with him, you’ll know how to be bold anyway. And if you’ve been single for a while, it’s time to be bold.
You’ll be able to walk right up to him and ask him out. You’ll be able to tell him just how you like it in bed. You’ll be able to create the love life you want.
This event is free of charge however RSVPs highly appreciated! RSVP HERE
An interactive evening lecture series with New York Love Life Consultant and Speaker, Lindsay Chrisler…
*Get inspired to dream big when it comes to your deepest desires for your love life. Even the not so PC desires.
*Discover new perspectives on the common love questions and struggles. Not your usual magazine answers or what your friends will tell you.
*Start right away. Walk out of these talks feeling turned on and clear about the next step.
We all want love. We all want attention. We all want to be heard and seen and loved for who we are. So, if we all want the same things, why is it challenging to find? And how do we get through the challenges so we can be and stay in love? How do we create the spark or keep the spark once we’ve had it?
This is what people said recently about Lindsay’s work:
“Lindsay completely changed my outlook on dating and view of myself in the dating world.” -Lindsay, New York
“Lindsay is f**king talented. She’s intuitive and somehow just ‘gets’ what you need.” – Amber, San Francisco
You do not have to settle for less than what you want. Let’s repeat that. You do not have to settle. However, at some point you do have to take action to get what you want. Attending this lecture is a great place to start.
Sexuality is an important part of being human. Whether you’re single or married, male or female, your sexuality never goes away. It never stops being important. We just like to find reasons to hide it, take it off the to do list, pretend that it’s his or her job, decide that it doesn’t matter that much. Even if you’re having good sex, it can always be great. This is the sex ed class you wish you had in high school. An education beyond safe sex (although always important) and into the world of hot, sustainable, pleasurable sex.
What would happen if you discovered new ways to make your sex life immensely pleasurable?
What would change if you learned how to feel more sensation in your body?
What would be different if you were turned on from your head to your toes every day whether you just had sex or not?
What if your sex life became interesting and new again?
Reinvigorate your sex life in one hour. Join Lindsay Chrisler, for a free evening talk on the keys to feeling good about your sex life, starting now.
This is not a blow job and vibrator class. This is not about tantra. No tips, tricks, or different positions. This is a fun, interactive, and educational conversation about how to love and explore your sex life – how to create the sex life you deeply desire.
Open to men, women, singles AND couples. Free of charge.
City Life Wellness: 75 Frost Street, Brooklyn, NY 11211
Feel free to contact Lindsay for more details.
Imagine the cute guy or girl across the room walking over to you and asking for your phone number. Imagine going on a date with this new prospect or the partner you already have and spending the date laughing, divulging secrets, having fun. Now, imagine building a friendship, a way of relating focused on loving each other and growing alongside each other. Imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling sex life. A sex life that has you feel, spark, attraction, and space to let your wilder side out.
Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
Do you think about getting back together with the last person? Even if they weren’t so great?
Are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
Are you bored with the idea of meeting people at bars?
Do you want to feel sexier and more confident in and out of the bedroom?
Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts?
Being a turned on love magnet is a state that is available to everyone. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get it or thinking you can’t have it.
Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating questions, fun and light exercises (everything is PG rated and voluntary), and time to socialize of course – learn how to magnetize the love life of your dreams starting now.
This event is for men and women, singles AND couples.
Imagine dating someone that turns you on, inspires you, and loves you. Imagine spending the day with this person laughing, sharing secrets, and having fun. Imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling sex life with this person – a sex life that has you feel spark, attraction, and space to let your wilder side out. Imagine creating a relationship based on friendship, connection, and aliveness that’s built to last.
This could be you.
Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
If you’re single, are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
If you’re dating or married, do you want to take your relationship to the next level of intimacy and connection?
Do you want to feel sexier and more confident in and out of the bedroom?
Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts and grows stronger with time?
Being in a dream relationship is available to everyone. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get it or thinking you can’t have it.
Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating/relationship questions, fun and light exercises (everything is PG rated and voluntary), and time to socialize of course – learn how to create your dream relationship starting today.
There are several upcoming talks scheduled both in New York and San Francisco. Email Lindsay: email@example.com to find out when the next talk is coming to your neck of the woods!
Imagine walking up to the cute girl across the room and asking for her phone number. Imagine going on a date with her and having fun.
Imagine getting laid that night. That’s right, that night.
Now, imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling friendship, relationship and sex life with this person. A sex life where you feel magnetized to her, where you get to be the man, where the turn on feels effortless and you don’t have to do anything special to get it from her.
This could be you.
*Do you want more sex?
*Do you want to feel more confident around hot women?
*Do you want to meet more datable women?
*Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
*Do you think about getting back together with the last girl? Even if she wasn’t that great?
*Are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
*Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts?
Having a sexy woman who treats you well is a few insights away. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get her or thinking you can’t have her. Knowing these secrets will not only make you feel good, it will also get you results: that relationship you’ve been wanting, the job you were meant to do, the sex life you’ve been craving.
Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating and relationship questions, learn about the games we play and how to give them up.
These are the secrets you need to know to get the love, sex, and women you want.
If you’ve ever been confused about what the heck went wrong, or why you aren’t getting what you want in sex and relating … or simply want more out of an already great sex and dating life … well, just get yourself to this event.
Space is limited. RSVP HERE for full details…