All posts by Lindsay Chrisler

Holiday Dating

While most single women dread the holiday season -arriving at a slew of parties solo, avoiding Aunt Betty’s never ending questions about marital status, and spending more time eating a chocolate snow man than cuddling a real man on the couch, I think the holidays can be a prime opportunity for meeting a great guy – as long as you have the right tools and attitude. If you don’t, it’s just more draining cocktail parties and fruitcakes.

Every single woman needs to know these top 5 ways to attract a sexy man this month, just in time for a delightful new year’s eve kiss.

 1.  Change your radar from “the one” to “great guy to spend an evening with.”

There is nothing more unattractive than being scanned for baby-making potential right out of the gate. Desperate and critical ain’t too pretty.

 2.  Go to parties where you’ll feel good and laugh.

Leave invites from negative nancies, competitive cathies, and judgemental judies in your inbox. No parties? Find an event that will make you giggle. Take a friend that isn’t in either of those 3 categories.

3.  Redo your online profile with the goal of turning him on a little.

Unleash a little of your naughty side this season. You’re not getting hired to be on the PTA, you’re getting browsed by men that want a love life. And if you don’t have an online profile, get one. Then you’ll have no excuse to not have a date next week!

4.  Fluff yourself before you go out.

Do what you love right before you go to the party so you feel great about yourself: dance around your room naked, light your favorite candle and meditate, do an unexpected good deed, take a bubble bath (but skip the emo music, maybe Mariah Carey’s holiday album would be best). Show up to every party at your best. There is no better way to meet a great guy that through your friends. 63% of married couples say they met their mate through a friend.

5.  Go up and ask for his number and call him!

It’s not desperate, it’s called being proactive. Don’t believe the movies or what your friends tell you. You want love, go out and make it happen. Besides, have you ever heard of a guy that said “she asked ME out so that was a red flag she wasn’t the right woman for me?” No way.

Now you have your top 5 tools for a love life experiment this holiday season. I hope this brings you some joy and merriment and I wish you all lots of luck and love, love, love.

Love, Lindsay

P.S. I want to hear about your experiment so let me know what happens out there in the comments!

Top 5 Ways To Get A Boyfriend

How do I get a boyfriend? How do I attract my soul mate? I hear these questions often. My top 5 ways to help you find the love of your life are not for the faint of heart.

1. Be kinder.

Especially to yourself. And the little 3 year old inside of you that was told sex is bad, or the 7 year old inside of you they called chubby. Be nice to all the scared parts of you and then be nice to the men that you meet. In fact, be nicer to everyone you meet. Kindness attracts kindness. Love attracts love.

2. Look your next date in the eye. And say thank you like you mean it. THANK YOU.

Even if he didn’t pay for dinner or wore weird shoes. He spent an hour listening to you. Say thank you. If you don’t have a date lined up, see #3.

3. Ask someone out today.

Anybody who makes your body tingle. Maybe he’s hot or maybe he seems disgusting yet intriguing. If there is heat in your body, ask him. The internet gives you absolutely no excuse out of this one.

4. Find out what uncomfortable feels like in your body and get used to it (because dating, especially guys you actually like, is uncomfortable).

Sweaty armpits? Babbling? Back pain? Hiding under the covers syndrome? Notice when you’re uncomfortable and memorize the signals. That way, when he doesn’t call you back and you’re hiding under the covers you can say to yourself “Oh! I’m uncomfortable. This sucks” instead of “He is not worth my time anyway. F**k him!” which will only make you feel better for a minute and then you’ll still be single and searching.

5. Make yourself uncomfortable when the stakes are low.

Scream in public. Post a naughty short story anonymously. Ask the awkward guy to dance. Then when the stakes are high and you really like him and you’re really uncomfortable because you don’t know what the heck is going on with him, you’ll know how to be bold anyway. And if you’ve been single for a while, it’s time to be bold.

You’ll be able to walk right up to him and ask him out. You’ll be able to tell him just how you like it in bed. You’ll be able to create the love life you want.

I know some of those steps may not feel that great to read. I know dating and growing at the same time is freaky. Remember, don’t worry about doing it right. Just do something.

 

 

EVENT: May 30 & June 1

TOPIC: People come to me and want to know how to find love. They want homework, exercises, goals, structure and guarantees. I get that. When I don’t know what the hell I’m doing or why what I’m doing is not working, I crave step by step instructions too. It’s calming. The brain likes it. However, no exercise or coaching is going to work if it feels like a chore or a to do list item. Especially when it comes to love. This talk will be about how to stop stressing yourself out about your love life. 

Wednesday, May 30th 7:30-9pm @ Flo Living Center – 161 W 54th St # 1404  New York, NY 10019

Friday, June 1st 7:30-9pm @ Fluid Coffee Bar: 501 E 19th Ave Denver, CO 80203

This event is free of charge however RSVPs highly appreciated! RSVP HERE

Event Description: 

An interactive evening lecture series with New York Love Life Consultant and Speaker, Lindsay Chrisler…

*Get inspired to dream big when it comes to your deepest desires for your love life. Even the not so PC desires.

*Discover new perspectives on the common love questions and struggles. Not your usual magazine answers or what your friends will tell you.

*Start right away.  Walk out of these talks feeling turned on and clear about the next step.

We all want love. We all want attention. We all want to be heard and seen and loved for who we are. So, if we all want the same things, why is it challenging to find? And how do we get through the challenges so we can be and stay in love? How do we create the spark or keep the spark once we’ve had it?

Each talk is designed to get you one big step closer to answering these questions and more so you can start living the love life you’ve always wanted.

This is what people said recently about Lindsay’s work:

“Lindsay completely changed my outlook on dating and view of myself in the dating world.” -Lindsay, New York

“Lindsay is f**king talented. She’s intuitive and somehow just ‘gets’ what you need.” – Amber, San Francisco

You do not have to settle for less than what you want. Let’s repeat that. You do not have to settle. However, at some point you do have to take action to get what you want. Attending this lecture is a great place to start.

Join Lindsay Chrisler for a free interactive lecture that will turn you on and make you think.

 

The New Sex Ed For Adults

Sexuality is an important part of being human. Whether you’re single or married, male or female, your sexuality never goes away. It never stops being important. We just like to find reasons to hide it, take it off the to do list, pretend that it’s his or her job, decide that it doesn’t matter that much. Even if you’re having good sex, it can always be great. This is the sex ed class you wish you had in high school. An education beyond safe sex (although always important) and into the world of hot, sustainable, pleasurable sex.

What would happen if you discovered new ways to make your sex life immensely pleasurable?
What would change if you learned how to feel more sensation in your body?
What would be different if you were turned on from your head to your toes every day whether you just had sex or not?
What if your sex life became interesting and new again?

Pleasure, sensation, and turn on are available to you right now. You don’t have to wait or wonder any longer.

Reinvigorate your sex life in one hour. Join Lindsay Chrisler, for a free evening talk on the keys to feeling good about your sex life, starting now.

This is not a blow job and vibrator class. This is not about tantra. No tips, tricks, or different positions. This is a fun, interactive, and educational conversation about how to love and explore your sex life – how to create the sex life you deeply desire.

Open to men, women, singles AND couples. Free of charge.

Wednesday, February 8th
8-9:30pm

City Life Wellness: 75 Frost Street, Brooklyn, NY 11211

Feel free to contact Lindsay for more details.

How To Be A Love Magnet

Imagine the cute guy or girl across the room walking over to you and asking for your phone number. Imagine going on a date with this new prospect or the partner you already have and spending the date laughing, divulging secrets, having fun. Now, imagine building a friendship, a way of relating focused on loving each other and growing alongside each other. Imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling sex life. A sex life that has you feel, spark, attraction, and space to let your wilder side out.

This could be you. I call it being turned on… about you, your life, and especially your love life. You magnetize the love you’ve always wanted because you’re so turned on, they just can’t stay away.

Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
Do you think about getting back together with the last person? Even if they weren’t so great?
Are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
Are you bored with the idea of meeting people at bars?
Do you want to feel sexier and more confident in and out of the bedroom?
Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts?

Being a turned on love magnet is a state that is available to everyone. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get it or thinking you can’t have it.

Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating questions, fun and light exercises (everything is PG rated and voluntary), and time to socialize of course – learn how to magnetize the love life of your dreams starting now.

This event is for men and women, singles AND couples.

Begin by taking the first step: join Lindsay Chrisler, for a free evening talk on the 5 steps to becoming a sexy, confident, love magnet.

Tuesday, January 31st: 7-8pm
Simple Studios (2nd Floor): 134 West 29th Street (Btwn 6th and 7th), New York
Please contact us for more information or registration.

 

Dream Relationship in 90 Days!

CREATE YOUR DREAM RELATIONSHIP IN 90 DAYS

Imagine dating someone that turns you on, inspires you, and loves you. Imagine spending the day with this person laughing, sharing secrets, and having fun. Imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling sex life with this person – a sex life that has you feel spark, attraction, and space to let your wilder side out. Imagine creating a relationship based on friendship, connection, and aliveness that’s built to last.

Now, imagine YOU in this relationship 90 days from NOW.

This could be you.

Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
If you’re single, are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
If you’re dating or married, do you want to take your relationship to the next level of intimacy and connection?
Do you want to feel sexier and more confident in and out of the bedroom?
Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts and grows stronger with time?

Being in a dream relationship is available to everyone. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get it or thinking you can’t have it.

Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating/relationship questions, fun and light exercises (everything is PG rated and voluntary), and time to socialize of course – learn how to create your dream relationship starting today.

Begin by taking the first step: join Lindsay Chrisler, for a free 90 minute interactive evening talk on how to turn your dating life and relationship all the way ON.

There are several upcoming talks scheduled both in New York and San Francisco. Email Lindsay: lindsay@lindsaychrisler.com to find out when the next talk is coming to your neck of the woods!

EVENT: Giving Up The Games

3 Secrets She’s Not Telling You

An Event for Men…

Imagine walking up to the cute girl across the room and asking for her phone number. Imagine going on a date with her and having fun.

Imagine getting laid that night. That’s right, that night.

Now, imagine a deeply satisfying and fulfilling friendship, relationship and sex life with this person. A sex life where you feel magnetized to her, where you get to be the man, where the turn on feels effortless and you don’t have to do anything special to get it from her.

This could be you. I call it being the man you are meant to be: strong, stable, and loving. He knows what he wants and goes after it.

This could be you.

*Do you want more sex?
*Do you want to feel more confident around hot women?
*Do you want to meet more datable women?
*Do you want to be in an amazing relationship?
*Do you think about getting back together with the last girl? Even if she wasn’t that great?
*Are you bored with online dating or found it to be unfulfilling?
*Are you ready to be in a loving relationship that lasts?

Having a sexy woman who treats you well is a few insights away. Don’t waste another minute wondering how to get her or thinking you can’t have her. Knowing these secrets will not only make you feel good, it will also get you results: that relationship you’ve been wanting, the job you were meant to do, the sex life you’ve been craving.

Through personal stories, new perspectives on the classic dating and relationship questions, learn about the games we play and how to give them up.

Begin by taking the first step: join Lindsay Chrisler, for a free evening talk on the 3 top secrets she’s not telling you.

These are the secrets you need to know to get the love, sex, and women you want.

If you’ve ever been confused about what the heck went wrong, or why you aren’t getting what you want in sex and relating … or simply want more out of an already great sex and dating life … well, just get yourself to this event.

Space is limited. RSVP HERE for full details…

Realistic Romance

It’s been a very full week of talking with people about my recent engagement. Initially, there was a wave of support (my dad could not have been more excited, he said in an email “Lindsay, I have not been this excited since you were born). Then I started getting phone calls expressing concerns, questions, and downright judgements. At first, I was irritated. I thought, either deal with your judgements and projections and get over it and be happy for me or bugger off. But then I thought, no, rapid change is challenging to understand and can feel unsafe. People need information and in all my busyness and traveling lately, I have left out information that makes the story more complete. I’ve talked about the sudden move to New York, the romantic proposal in Italy, the story of the serendipitous ring. I haven’t shared much about how challenging this relationship has been and while everyone adores a good love story, they can be skeptical when it happens fast and when it seems too good to be true.

One fear beneath the concerns and judgements is that my marriage will not work out. I’m generalizing but I think that’s the gist. Even deeper than that, there is a fear that if they take a leap in their own life, they will not see one of the potential rocks below and they will hurt themselves, make a mistake, have regrets. They’re not ready. They will not be following the rules and they will be punished. All very valid fears which I totally understand.

Here’s my take. Life is about figuring out who you are as you go and doing your best to be the best person you can be. It’s about loving with all of your heart and learning from your mistakes. It’s about learning to befriend your intuition, that deep wise calm voice that each of us has inside and taking a leap when it asks you to.

For me, that day when he proposed was like any other day. The universe handed me an opportunity and I took a moment to feel if it was what I wanted. It was so I said yes. Now, I’m engaged and there are more opportunities. That’s the thing about saying yes to your intuition and deeper desires, you start to become friends and the universe sends you more people, more experiences, more love and you get more and more confident following your yeses. But how did I know to say yes? Well, like many have said to me, when you know, you know. But how do I know know? Well, because there is a real man behind the adventure and romance who I trust completely – a feeling that is rare.

I am a sucker for every romantic comedy and lovesong created but I didn’t say yes to him because I was in the Italian countryside, or because he’s going to be a big deal one day, or because we are just so in love it makes us crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I love the romantic parts of our story but I said yes to a commitment for life because …

a. I like him. I enjoy spending time with him even when we’re having an uncomfortable conversation about money or stuck in a muggy Subway station talking about the Helvetica font that is everywhere. I like who he is and how he shows up in the world.

b. He is a good man. He provides stability for me, he grounds me, he will protect me and the future babies, and he is not afraid to take the reigns and do what men do best, lead with clarity and confidence.

c. He shares my values, especially my highest value: growth. We can help each other grow into better versions of us. He supports and compliments my spiritual path, which is more important to me than anything. We’ve not only made a commitment to loving each other but to helping each other along our paths individually, and as a couple.

d. He asked.

I know who he is because we have been through quite an intense 3 months. When you move in with someone, there’s nowhere to hide and when you date Daniel Packard or Lindsay Chrisler, relationship analysis junkies and eternal students of the human process, there is really nowhere to hide. So, we were making discoveries about each other right and left and some moments were not so pretty. After a few weeks of being in New York, I told a girlfriend that this was the hardest f***ing relationship I’ve ever been in AND it has been the most rewarding. He doesn’t mess around when it comes to being a romantic gentleman and he also doesn’t mess around when it comes to holding me to a higher standard than most. Daniel’s favorite scene from Friday Night Lights is where Coach Taylor says to the quarterback, “I’m not expecting you to be the best. I’m expecting you to want to be the best.” That’s how we relate to each other. We don’t want perfection, we just want to try our best.

My best is when I’m being myself: loving, responsible, feeling healthy and alive from being of service to the world. He inspires the best in me and when I’m not being my best, he lovingly challenges me.

He doesn’t like any kind of princessy entitlement, blame, being mean, complaining or settling for less. This means there have been several uncomfortable conversations where he has asked me to step up and let go of some of this princess behavior that doesn’t serve me anymore. My ego has thrashed. My princess has resisted. My pride has been bruised. It has not been all rainbows and sunsets with gelato and I’m glad because I don’t want to be a princess who expects the world and especially men to take care of me. I don’t want to be mean just because I think I can get away with it. I don’t want to use the comfort of being in a relationship to mean I can get fat and lazy. Although these parts are uncomfortable to admit and to let go of, I don’t want them. I want to be the queen who leads, knows herself, and is helping the people around her. And then, when I’m being a queen, I want the view and gelato or whatever magical detail comes my way for me to enjoy for pleasure’s sake.

I’m learning how good romantic love feels when you earn it and when there is real love to back it up. I think that’s what women want. We want a man who will challenge us to be bigger and brighter and then when we show how big and bright we are, and then yeah, we would love some flowers or a beautiful proposal in the Italian countryside.

I’ve had my heart in an open relationship blender, put my emotions and patterns under a microscope for years, put myself through classes and uncomfortable but beautiful learning opportunities. I focused on my relationship life and I practiced saying yes to what the Universe sent me, even when I was totally scared. So, after this work, the Universe sent me an opportunity to be with a man who I adore for a lifetime commitment of growing up and realistic romance. I said yes and with that yes, I feel the calmest and happiest yet. I’m not only committing to working through the hard spots that every relationship faces, but I am committing to myself and seeing myself through the process of becoming the woman that I want to be and that this world needs me to be. (I was sitting in meditation the other day and I realized that part of my and Daniel’s life purpose is to make marriage sexy again – why all this talk about settling and letting yourself go? This is one piece I think the world wants from me.) I don’t know what’s next, I don’t know what I’m getting myself into completely, but I’ll never know. I just have to keep going and not give up on what I want and see what happens.

This next phase will be more work and more magic and I am excited to see what vast things lie ahead. Like Rilke said, “For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation…Love is a high inducement to the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world for himself for another’s sake, it is a great exacting claim upon him, something that chooses him out and calls him to vast things.”