Go For It

There are a thousand subjects I could post on today. I have all sorts of thoughts on relationships, breakups, “The One.” My mentor, Nicole Daedone, always says, “In relationships, you find out who the other person is when you break up, not when you’re together.” In the past few weeks, I have found this out first hand.  A week ago, my partner and I broke up. When you go through a breakup, you experience epiphanies and discover things about yourself every day. It’s a roller coaster. The relationship still feels raw so I won’t write much else about him or our thing today.  However, I do want to write about who I am discovering myself to be.

I have made two discoveries thus far: 1. I’m completely and perfectly crazy, and 2. I love myself, even the messy cuckoo parts.

Let’s start with the first discovery. Here are the past three weeks in a nutshell: I went out for a drink with a guy and felt instant chemistry, he went back to New York, I tried to ignore the connection because on paper it was all wrong, I waited until I couldn’t ignore it any longer, he bought me a ticket to LaGuardia to visit him for a week, my partner broke up with me because I didn’t want to keep the agreements of our relationship any longer, I quit my job, I decided I wanted to write a book, I decided to move to New York indefinitely,  and I let myself fall in love despite a host of fears and judgment from people I care about.

I have never seen so many eyebrows raised as there have been in response to my current story and decisions. This could feed my own fears. This could stop me.  But no.

Instead, I’ve said, “Yes, I know, I’m nuts. This move is sudden. But I’ve gotten myself this far and I know that at the end of the day, if I don’t follow my intuition, my heart, my body – I won’t like myself.” So, yes I’m completely crazy and it’s also perfect. I feel thrilled but not out of control, I feel alive but not manic, I feel like I’m challenging myself but not about to collapse and die. I’m not saying I’m not nervous or scared. I am. But I’m not letting those voices decide my life for me. I’m letting my desire guide. I have a vision for my life, a natural state of turn-on that I feel at home in, and it is time for me to stand in it’s fire, even when it gets uncomfortably hot.

I’ve been on the brink of making the second discovery for years, but only in the last few weeks has a new level of self-love emerged and integrated itself into my body. A knowing. A feeling that by listening to and following my desire, I am being my own best friend. There’s self-love that you can try on with a daily affirmation and then there’s deep self-love that comes from making decisions that increase your self-esteem. My coach, Jason McClain, always reminds me that each decision you make either raises or lowers your self-esteem. Despite all the, “Wait?! You’re doing what?!?” reactions, I’m on the up and up with the only person I ultimately answer to: myself.

My question for you today is, “What do you want that you are afraid to have or do?”

Extra points for anything that makes your heart race, that would turn heads, or that doesn’t make sense in your brain but makes a lot of sense in your heart. You don’t have to do anything today or this month for that matter, but start to look at what you want to do that scares you. Consider the question for 2 minutes and see what you come up with.

If you do feel ready to make a change in your life but you’re scared, consider this: What’s the worst that could happen? You make a mistake and you learn from it. What if you looked at life as a chance to explore your heart’s desires while giving yourself permission to make and learn from mistakes, rather than taking a fine-toothed comb full of fear and doubt  over them?

It sounds cliché but I get to say it: LIFE IS TOO F***ING SHORT! I’ve given myself full permission to go for it, and I give you my full blessing to do the same. Go for it, mistakes and messiness and all.


 

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6 comments
marissa says July 18, 2011

Oh honey,
Im proud…..there is nothing more rewarding and strengthening than learning to follow your hearts desire…..your heart will never lead you astray. Sounds like a riteous path…..and it takes courage.
Warmly,marissa

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Sadie Smythe says July 18, 2011

I SO love this. It really echoes how I have been feeling, and I say, live your possibilities!

xoxox~Sadie

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Andra says July 19, 2011

You are AMAZING, and it is so fun to read your blog!! I’m appreciating your self love and courage. I’m on a different page of life right now and have a huge adventure ahead of me that is somewhat scary, but all in all I’m happy and excited to take on the challenge of motherhood. I wish you the best, and Love you Lindsay!!!

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Sarah Roy says July 20, 2011

I am struggling with this post for a few reasons. Where I completely agree that too many people live their life with fear as the main driver, I do not believe in giving into every desire that comes across your body or mind. I do sympathize for you because in these situations it’s never black and white, but when we only feel ultimate responsibility for ourselves, we may find our future is full of loneliness and discontent. There comes a time where you should take into consideration the feelings of the person you are committed to, regardless of desire, and decide on your actions with a more balanced perspective. I believe that this takes more strength then going with the immediate desire. I’m all for empowerment (which is something you seem to be working towards), and very much agree about having control over the emotion of fear and its effect on one’s life, but where do you draw the line? where’s the boundary? in regards to your close friends/family reactions – all of the frowns – why is this of no value to you? Why do you disregard their input?

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    LindsayChrisler says July 25, 2011

    Hi Sarah, Thank you for your comment. I completely agree with you that we cannot give in to every desire and that we have to consider the feelings of the people we love. You bring up an excellent question on where to draw the line and boundaries. I believe that as long as you are keeping your agreements with people and not intentionally hurting anyone, you must follow your intuition no matter what. Part of your intuition is about desire, following what you want. The more and more you start to listen to your intuition, the better you get at it. The better choices you make. You start to learn which desires are surface level and which are deeper and more important to listen to. I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do. You make mistakes and you hurt people’s feelings but you learn as you go and your intuitive voice gets stronger. As for people’s reactions, it’s good feedback to consider but at the end of the day, you cannot live a life based on anyone else’s desires. You can’t live your life for anyone else. This is the real empowerment, the self-respect, the self-love I’m talking about. The hard work is being willing to take risks and learn from them so that you can listen for the deeper desire, the one that fulfills you and makes you come alive. I think we all want that for ourselves and for each other.

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Leah says August 2, 2011

Lindsay, I love your blog. I haven’t seen you since college but thank goodness for facebook. I recently went through a very similar situation. I ended a long relationship to up and move, to a different country actually all because of an instant connection and leap of faith. It was the scariest and best thing I have ever done. Taking big risks is something I am usually very afraid of and people’s reactions and been surprisingly positive. I admire your courage and willingness to share your experience with us. I am sure you will be great in New York.

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